Children

What is it about children that can make you simultaneously want to burst with laughter but scream in frustration? They are such interesting contradictions! This morning, as I naively assumed everything was going just fine, my two boys came barreling out of the bathroom, both of them gagging and falling all over each other. I looked up at them, and Nick said, "I think somebody threw up or something all over the floor!! There's things all over the place!" Now, I had just been in the bathroom, not 10 minutes before that, taking my three and two year olds potty. There had been nothing there that I had noticed. Everyone excitedly jumped up to go see the nastiness, as if viewing post-chewed, partially digested stomach contents was to be the pinnacle of the day's entertainment. Everyone, that is, except one. My five year old, Savannah, was the only one who didn't get up. She just looked at me with guilt written all over her face. I asked her in a raised, disbelieving voice, "Did you throw up and then leave it there?!" Her answer: *in a meek, sorrowful, tremulous voice* "I. . . I . . . Well . . . I didn't know I was going to puke, Mommy." I wanted to laugh, but I wanted to cry at the same time! I asked her in an angry voice, "What in heaven's name possessed you to do something like that!?!" Her answer: *in a meek, confused voice* "Um. . . Well . . . I only had Cheerios. . ." !!!!!!!!!!!! What can you even say to that?? When I asked her why she left it there on the floor, she said that she was afraid that if she said anything, that she would get in trouble for throwing up! Now, I'll admit that I'm a strict mother. But for crying out loud, I have NEVER punished my kids for getting sick!! I told her that what she did was wrong, and I spanked her for trying to hide it from me. I scolded her for being too afraid of punishment to be honest, and talked to her about the importance of always saying the truth even if you have to be punished. She didn't even cry! Not one tear found it's way down her quivering little cheek. It just makes me wonder, if she doesn't even cry after getting spanked and scolded. . . exactly what was she so afraid of??

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I quit now??? Please?!?!?