Sticks and Stones

Matthew 5:44-45 - But I say, love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father in Heaven. For He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

Luke 6:27-28 - But I say to you, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.

How many times have you been given an opportunity to live out this command that Jesus gave? If you've been living as one on fire for God, then I daresay you've been given many opportunities. Did Jesus not warn us that if we were going to follow Him, then we could count on oppression and persecution (John 15:20-22)? Yet, even having been warned, I believe this is one of the hardest commands for us to obey. It is never easy to "turn the other cheek" (Luke 6:29). It is difficult to allow others to abuse you without retaliation. I was recently in a situation like this, and it took some time before my feelings and emotions were adequately controlled so that I could pray for the one who was cursing me. In this area, I do feel as though I've come a long way. My "recovery time", so to speak is much quicker than it used to be, and God's words are never far from my heart when I must walk through a valley of mistreatment.

But I am nowhere near as docile and passive when the slander involves my husband, children, parents, or siblings. To those whom I count more dear than myself, I cannot bear to hear of malicious treatment. It makes my blood boil within me, and I am nearly unable to restrain myself from paying out a swift retribution in the most vicious manner conceivable to me at the moment. Even if I could convince myself that only the person being abused must pray for his enemies, to be quite frank with you, if a person becomes an enemy of my husband, or my children, or my other family, they become my enemies as well, so that command still applies to me. As my pastor so eloquently put it in a sermon about loving your church family, you can't be my friend, yet hate those who are closest to my heart.

There is an instance where I do remember reading that revenge is not only acceptable, but actually commanded in Scripture (and I'm sure there are more, but this is the one that best serves my memory right now). It is found in the Old Testament Law, that if a person is killed, their family members are to find the murderer and kill him. But I am fully aware that if I want to exercise Old Testament authority, then I must live under Old Testament law, which I don't want at all. The old law brings condemnation, the new covenant affords me peace and reconciliation with my Father in Heaven (Romans 7:10).

So now, here I am, faced with the one situation that has more potential to drag me away from all my determined efforts to live as one set apart for my Jesus. My husband has been slandered, very maliciously, both by men who hate my husband because of his example of honesty and integrity in the workplace, as well as by men who claimed to be his friends. He tried to shrug it off when I inquired after his feelings, but I later happened upon him unawares, and found him torn, broken and bleeding on the inside. You have my word that if I thought for one second that it would not be in vain, I would sit down right now and search my Bible from cover to cover to find permission to wreak vengeance on those men. But I already feel conviction in my heart that such an attitude is not honoring to Him Whose opinion matters the most.

So here I sit, all the hurt and agony at seeing my husband cut down and tormented in front of my eyes, and left there in a bloody heap while I sit helplessly on the sidelines; all the violent rage and fierce bitterness at being forced to allow my husband to be so denigrated, and by those who professed to be his friends!! And finally, all the heartache that comes with being asked to repent, to admit that I, too, am in the wrong; to relinquish my desire for justice and vengeance, and to bless them instead. Oh, but He doesn't stop there! He also asks me, beckons me, yearns for me to consider it joy (Matthew 5:11, James 1:2) that we have this opportunity to show true Christ-like love by forgiving these men and blessing them, and even loving them! Such a thing seems impossible to me.

But maybe that's the point. Are we not told that things are impossible for man, but all things are possible for God (Mark 10:27)? It seems that bad things happen when we depend on our own strength. Hosea 10:13-14a says, "But you have planted wickedness, you have reaped evil, you have eaten the fruit of deception. Because you have depended on your own strength (emphasis mine) and on your many warriors, the roar of battle will rise against all your people, so that all your fortresses will be devestated." I don't want to depend on my own strength, using my anger to fuel my quest for revenge. The world would say, "But you have a right and a responsibility to defend your family!" While I don't disagree with that statement, I think the world has warped the idea of what we should be defending our families from, as well as how that defense should play out. My husband's life is not at stake here. His health, his well-being, is not being threatened. His emotional well-being is what's being wounded . . . but what abilities do I possess to heal his emotions or his spirit? None whatsoever, no matter how badly I want to. I can only point him to the one who can bring him healing. But in order to accomplish that, I must be sure that Jehovah Rapha (God Who Heals) is the One to Whom I am pointing. And how can I point to Him, if I am consumed with thoughts of anger, bitterness, and vengeance? What would I accomplish by exacting revenge on those men, except to remove myself from the lineage of Christ the Savior, and align myself with Satan the Destroyer? What lunacy would prompt me to do something with such decidedly disastrous results??

So my conclusion is that when Jesus says to respond to curses with blessing, He is not asking us to sacrifice our dignity, virtue, and character on the altar of diffidence. To the contrary, He is helping us to retain those qualities! If we will but listen and obey, though it be hard, we will come to understand that even though His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:9), His ways are perfect (2 Samuel 22:31). We are sojourners in this world, we are not of the world, therefore we cannot behave as the world behaves (1 Peter 2:11, 2 Corinthians 6:17).

Besides all this, to attempt to mete out retribution is to assume a job that does not belong to me, and we all know what happens when we try to take for ourselves what rightfully belongs to God (Lev. 7:3-5, 25; Isa. 14:13-15, to name a few). Afterall, what little child, when bullied, would not look to his father for justice? If that child knew that his father was there to protect him, why would he ball up his tiny little fists to duke it out himself, rather than simply point to the intimidating figure of his father with sleeves rolled up and muscles bulging? God is my Father, and He has said, "It is mine to avenge, I will repay." (1 John 3:1, Deuteronomy 32:35), and I know that He will not fail to keep His Word (Hebrews 6:18).

So, having considered all this, I not only acknowledge Jesus' command in Matt. 5:44, but now I want to obey it. I desire to align myself with my Father, Who loves both me and my husband, and gave Himself for us. I forgive those men, for they act as those who are lost; I cannot expect the lost to act as if they are saved. I bless those men, and pray that God would have mercy on them, and bring them out of the bondage of deception that they are under, so they can hear His Word and see their need for Him. And with my heart safely in my Father's Hands and under His influence, I can now point my husband to my Jehovah Rapha (The God who heals), Jehovah Shalom (The God of peace), Jehovah Sabaoth (God, the Commander of the hosts), Jehovah Jireh (God will provide), Jehovah Nissi (God is my banner) - El Elyon, The Most High God.