Running - Training Day 7

Well, day 7 is complete. Today was the first day of Level 3 in my C25K program. Level 3 is as follows:

5 minutes - brisk walk to warm up

90 seconds - run

90 seconds - walk
3 minutes - run

3 minutes -  walk

Repeat the above sequence so that you have run a total of 4 times: twice for 90 seconds each, and twice for 3 minutes each.

5 minutes -  walk to cool down

There was no feeling of "yea, I finished, woo-hoo!" today. It sucked today. It was hard. I mean, HARD. Like, I was breathing so hard I was spitting. Like, I literally cried when I finally finished the second 3 minute run. I don't want to do this again. Let me repeat myself:

I. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. DO. THAT. AGAIN.

It was so hard for me. It was hot, even though it was early. The humidity level was ridiculous; I might as well have been breathing in water. My head was hurting by the time I was done. There was nothing about this run that felt good, or that made me feel proud. I looked like a fat wimp. I felt like a little nerdy school kid begging the bullies to quit beating him up. I didn't finish that run with my head held high. I almost didn't finish the run at all. I felt embarrassed by how badly just 3 minutes kicked my butt. Today felt like a failure.

Why do I complain like this? Because I want to be real. Because I want you all to know that there is NOTHING glamorous about what I'm doing. Because I want you to see that I really mean it when I say if I can do it, so can you. See, I'm not one of these giggle-while-I'm-running-because-it's-just-so-much-fun skinny girls that you see at the gym and in the movies. I'm just a 32 year old, over weight mom of like a hundred kids, who's trying to get healthier. When I run, it's not pretty. In fact, it gets pretty ugly. My face looks more like something out of a book on Chinese torture techniques than something out of Runner's World magazine. I frequently make these pathetic, whimpering sounds, like a kid who's getting spanked. And I can always be found at the back of the pack, bringing up the rear, because I'm simply not fast.

But - I did it. I finished. In spite of how badly I felt like my butt was getting kicked out there, I still didn't quit.

When I got back home, the kids and I pulled out our Bibles for our daily reading. We are reading through the New Testament, one chapter each day. Today, incredibly, we were at 1 Corinthians 9. Take a look at what verses 24-25 says:

"Do you not know that in a race, all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes through strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever."

I felt like that scripture was meant for me today. My feelings of defeat are giving way to determination. It may not look pretty while I'm doing it, but by-golly, I'm gonna do it.

My next run is Wednesday.

God help me.